May 30, 2012

She Picks Me

This week my girlfriend told me that a guy-friend of hers... is in love with her. He's been interested in her for quite some time, but he's reached a point where he'd do just about anything to win her. He'd change who he is, be whoever she wanted, if only it meant she'd be with him.

It's an odd thing to hear. It's not surprising. Honestly, I don't know how anyone's not in love with her. I certainly recognize what a beautiful, amazing person she is and I am very much in love with her - so I'm really not shocked when this happens (it isn't the first time...).

That poor guy. I feel sorry for a him...a little. The jealous side of me wants him to just back the hell off. But the more rational, trusting side of me knows K. She's been completely upfront with me about it. She cares for him as a friend, but nothing more. And she picks me. She is with me and no one else, and doesn't want to be with anyone but me.

If you find a good one, you can't be too surprised when you find out someone else wants what you have. I'm so lucky to have K. And I don't need someone else falling in love with her to see that.

Thought I'd share a gorgeous wedding I found - enjoy!
source & photographer

May 23, 2012

I Have to Ask...

The other day I could overhear my boss and a co-worker having a conversation. They were talking about someone we work with in a business relationship, from another company. "Ok...I just have to ask, is he gay?" my boss asks my co-worker.

I didn't even hear the response - but the point is, why the hell does it matter? They say, it doesn't matter... but then why do they have to ask?

What difference does it make if that man is gay? She's not looking to be a relationship with him, or set him up with an available woman. So how is it relevant who he prefers to sleep with, on any level, in regards to our work with him professionally?

Today a local news station re-posted on facebook the New York Times interview where Jim Parsons (Sheldon from Big Bang Theory) casually came out as gay. I was happy to see the overwhelming response from people on facebook was: "who cares?"

Honestly, I do care that he's gay. But that's only because I am always secretly cheering for just about everyone to be gay. I care because I feel the world is a happier and brighter place with each gay person who comes out of a closet.

But I know my boss wasn't asking because she was secretly hoping that man is gay.
And I know the local Indiana news station wasn't posting the story because they were celebrating another celebrity publicly coming out.

So why do people feel the NEED to know if people are gay? No one gives a rat's ass if you're straight. I suppose it's so they can correctly categorize that person, put them in to the appropriate box? It matters to people on some level. Not in the warm fuzzy way it matters to me. In the, " we know that they're different..." way.

I am going to be waiting and looking forward to a day when a celebrity coming out is no longer a news story. If enough people say "who cares?", I know we'll get there eventually.

What do you think? Should that be news? Is that a good thing or bad thing? Why do you think people feel the need to know?

May 18, 2012

Juice Fasting

So, this all started the other day when I watched this video on Hulu: "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead". It's all about this guy, Joe, who decides to take a big step to change his life, since he's very overweight and is on medication for various conditions. So he starts out on an adventure, doing a 60 day juice fast. Literally, he eats nothing and drinks only freshly extracted fruit and vegetable juice, and water for 60 days.

It sounds insane. And it kind of is. But it's amazing to watch the transformation that takes place! Not only does he shed his large gut, his body cures itself of ailments and his doctor takes him off all of his prescriptions by the end of the two months. He also impacts the lives of others along the way.

"Hey, I could do that..." Next thing you know it, I'm at Bed Bath and Beyond discussing juicers with the sales guy. 

I decided arbitrarily to do a 40 day juice fast (the time of testing, for those bible readers out there). It will be good for me! I'll get lots of nutrients and vitamins and I'll glow with health. And I'll lose weight!

So I began on Wednesday, and by lunch time at work I was bemoaning the whole thing. My poor co-workers. "I want food!!!" Gazing longingly at their delicious, warm, solid-food lunches. I then decided to slightly alter my plan of 40 days... to a 3 day juice fast.

A three day juice fast is considered a "cleanse". It gives your body a break from digesting all the normal crap you eat and floods your body with 100% natural goodness from fruits and veggies. Much of which you rarely get in your daily diet. You move things along by drinking tons of water and over the three days, your cells are cleaned out and your body rids itself of toxins that have built up over time.  It can also help re-adjust your taste buds to want healthier foods.

I'm on the home stretch now, my third day. It's Friday evening, and all I wanted to do was come home from work, grab something delicious to snack on, and watch the L Word. But I'm holding out to make the 3 days official, only juice tonight!

I thought now would be a good time to reflect on the experience and what I have learned.

-I've been surprised how not hungry I am. I honestly expected to feel like I'm starving. But if you manage to actually get in the 64 oz of fresh fruit and veggie juice, you'll feel pretty full.

-Juicing is fun. And by that, I mean the actual part of extracting the juice is fun to do. The juicer I got is awesome, you can literally just throw an entire apple in there and get apple juice out of the spout.

-I miss food. I miss the comfort of food. Eating lunch with co-workers. Making dinner after a long day. Waking up for breakfast in the morning. Coffee from my local coffee shop. It's not even about the food itself (even though, it is), it's about all the emotions that come with those rituals.

-Juice fasting is... a short cut. If I'm being honest, I wasn't doing it just to "get healthy". That's a very vague goal. I wanted an easy way to lose some weight. But here's the thing, no matter if I do 3 days or 40 days, all that really matters is how I eat on a daily basis for the rest of the days after that. That's what will effect the rest of my life, not some short-term fix.

-Speaking of eating on a daily basis, doing this has made me want to eat healthier. Part of it may be my brain screaming "ok ok! I will eat healthy if you just let me eat god damn solid food!", but the other part of me has just taken a step back and looked at food from an outside perspective. We eat to live, we don't live to eat. I let food control me and tell me what I want all the time. I need to make good choices, enjoy everything I eat, appreciate what I have, and do what's good for "living".

-Juicing doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing. In fact, I don't think it should be. I think juicing is probably the best way to get natural nutrients into our bodies, but it should be used to supplement a balanced diet. I don't eat a lot of fruits and vegetables, so this will be a great way for me to get those servings.

Well, I'm going to go mix up my last juice drink for today--I can hardly wait to meet a friend for breakfast tomorrow! I hope your weekend is wonderful and filled with good food!

Some of what I ate drank this week:

May 8, 2012

What's in a Name?

Baby Ruth
Do you think our names are influential in shaping the person we become? It's amazing we are given a name on the day of our birth, before anyone really knows who we are. Do we become what our name is?

My parents named me Ruth. It is an old name, a very old name in fact. It's a Hebrew name, the woman in the Bible who became the great, great grandmother of King David. Her story is in the book of Ruth, she is a young widow, and she leaves her life behind to take care of her mother-in-law, Naomi.

I grew up with a framed sheet on my wall with my name and its English meaning "Compassionate One", paired with a verse from Proverbs 31: "She extends her hand to the poor, and she stretches out her hands to the needy." I used to think, as a kid, that doesn't really sound like me at all, I don't feel compassionate". I would secretly wish I had a cute, popular girl name like Rebecca or Katie or Jenny. Something with multiple syllables or a peppy vowel sound.

Ruth used to be a popular girls name. In fact, it was the #5 pick for baby girls born from 1911 to 1922, thanks to President Grover Cleveland's baby Ruth. But it's been pretty downhill from there as far as ranking. This explains why I mostly only know women 60 and over with the name. On Friends, they're choosing a baby name:
Ross: I like Ruth. What about Ruth?
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, are we having an 89-year-old?

My disconnect with my own name has disappeared over the years. Without even realizing it, I've actually grown to like it. I like it because I've come to realize this name is the right fit for me. I don't know what would have happened, or how I would be different, if my parents had named me Katie or something. But I am Ruth, here's why:

- Ruth is an old name and I have an old soul.

- Ruth is not a very common name these days, and I'm not-so-common. :-)

- Ruth means "compassionate" in english, of course I didn't really know what that meant as a kid. But I have definitely become an empathetic person with a passion for people who are downtrodden, mistreated or discriminated against.

-Ruth means "friend, companion, or vision of beauty" in hebrew originally. I don't know about the vision of beauty part... but I am a good friend, I'm very loyal and devoted to those I care about.

What does your name mean? Does it fit who you are? Have you ever wished you had a different name?

May 3, 2012

Small, Meaningful Connections

The most adorable 4-year-old little girl lives upstairs in my apartment building. Lately, when I come home from work, since we've been having nice weather and the windows are open, she hears my car door close and runs to her bedroom window to welcome me home. We have a short conversation about the day, yelling a little since she's twenty feet in the air.

"Hi Ruth!"
"Hi Grace!"
"You look pretty!"
"Thank you, so do you! I love your haircut." (She's sporting a short bob of white-blonde hair.)
She beems, "Thanks! Where were you?"
"At work," I say with a pouty face. "I have to go there almost every day."
"Oh," she says sympathetically, as though she understands perfectly. "I didn't have school today! I watched TV and played with my doll!"
"That sounds fun! How's your doll doing?" I've met the doll before.
"Good, you want to see her?"
She moves away from the window for a bit, and then the doll is plastered against the screen for a good 20 seconds, so I have time to admire her. 
"I like her purple outfit!"
Grace's faces pops back into the window with a big grin.

We say goodbye, and she goes back to taking care of her doll and watching TV, and I head inside to my apartment to go back to, well, whatever I do. Mostly avoiding dishes these days.

It's these little interactions in life that fill up my heart. A smile at someone on the sidewalk. The little joke you share with a stranger in passing. A note of encouragement to a co-worker for a job well done. A postcard in the mail. A comment on a blog. :-) These are small, but meaningful connections with people. Maybe even a facebook "like", but I'm still deciding with those. Maybe those count as miniscule connections instead of small ones.

I've been noticing lately that I'm more receptive to these things. Because I feel happy with who I am and with my life, it naturally flows over. I notice everything more, especially other people, because I'm not all wrapped up in myself. Everything is more interesting and more beautiful. I find myself tearing up, just overwhelmed sometimes with life, but in the best possible way.

Have you experienced this? What are your favorite small but meaningful connections with others?
P.S. Another reason why I love blogging and reading blogs. It's all about connecting with people who you might not necessarily know otherwise! 

From the Indie Rock Poster book, a gift from my friend :-)

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